Tantra with or without a partner?

At our recent Tantra Girls’ Night Out evening, women asked me questions about what happens in Tantra workshops where there are both men and women present. The concern that they expressed was that, if they come without a partner, they may have to be intimate with strange men beyond what they are comfortable with. I appreciate the question and respond here; the writing is applicable for both men and women.


The main modalities in my Tantra workshops are

  • breath
  • sound and
  • movement


The main types of exercises that occur in my workshops are:

  • active meditations
  • guided breath meditations
  • partner meditations using the above modalities
  • dance and movement
  • roleplay and dialogue
  • conscious touch (this will usually be specified).

Partner work

On my workshops and retreats, you will be working with different partners during one event. The women choose who they want to partner with. Partner work usually takes the form of meditations, so the process is guided and very conscious. Couples have said to me in the past that they wished they had done the work with different partners. The reason for this is that you get to know your own energy by working with different partners. If you are working with your lover only, part of your experience will be influenced by the projections and associations that you already have with this person. Exercises are structured in such a way as to bring more awareness rather than drawing you into the unconscious associations and dynamics that are often there in our relationship play.


Nakedness is usually not required in workshops, though in some workshops nakedness is an option. There are advanced workshops where nakedness is required, but you will only be invited to these when we feel you are ready.

The choice is yours

Our approach in the Advait Tantraschool is to create opportunities and then be guided by the level at which you feel comfortable to engage them. At all times, we encourage you to follow your bliss; go according to what feels good for you. Also, in Tantra the woman is always the decisionmaker, and we structure exercises as such.


My work is an encouragement to intimacy, in the sense of an opening to feel what is real for you in the moment. Tantra is about totality, it is not about hiding from your feelings. But here too you have a conscious space to learn to discern what is real, and what is fantasy or projection. If you would rather protect yourself from feeliings, then Tantra may not be for you. If you are ready to be fully present in your life, and to feel the rich complexity of that, then I would encourage you to come explore.